I drop in on a child care providers discussion forum from time to time and make comments/suggestions if I feel I can be of help (or just want to join in on a rant!!). Recently, I read a post about a child who was deliberately damaging day care property, everything from toys, to day care furniture and including personal items belonging to the provider. The parents laugh it off, ask the child to say an empty 'I'm sorry' and offer no discussion nor action for remedy. The provider is pretty distraught at this point. To date the child has deliberately destroyed over $200 worth of items. Unfortunately, dealing with difficult behavior can be a staple of day care life and can lead to some unpleasant situations.

Difficult and challenging behaviors can be a tough fact of day care life. The reasons for said behaviors can be various but all need to be dealt with from the outset in a firm and consistent manner. When it becomes clear that a child is being continuously disruptive, destructive and aggresive it is time to 'meet the parents'. Dealing successfully with any challenging behavior necessitates parental cooperation.

Discovering root causes and triggers for the behavior through discussion can help all involved better understand the child and his actions both at home and at day care. A mutual behavior plan should be agreed whereby all parties are cooperating and on the same page. It is vital that consistent and constructive handling of the child be carried out by both parents and provider.

Use your behavior policy (you do have one right??) as an outline for formulating an individual plan. Ensure that you put in place a time frame for implementation and a deadline for reevaluation. It is helpful also to include in your parent handbook/contract details of situations where parents will be expected to cough up for 'over the top' damages caused by their child.

Insert also your 'end of tether' clause where you would be forced to ask a client to withdraw their child due to ongoing issues and lack of cooperation/communication. Don't forget, sometimes professional, outside help is required!.that does not indicate failure on the part of either the provider or parent. It is simply the best way forward in some cases.